Encounters with interesting characters…I will call her Helga

I’m not going to mention names, because that could just make things weird, so instead I’m going to call this person Helga. Helga has 2 kids, and Helga is one of the most fantastic people I have ever met. Although crazy and insane the majority of the time, Helga has a very contagious presense about her. If you meet Helga, you will always want to be around Helga, even though you fear Helga’s outbursts, you can always count on Helga for adding some fun humor to your life. Back to Helga having 2 kids; Helga’s kids names are outrageously fantastic as well, I will mention their names because why disguise how creatively put together these names are. Helga’s daugher is 4 years old and her name is Alberta. Alberta is sometimes referred to as “Ali” but I always refer to Alberta as Alberta because what a sophisticated name for only being 4 years old. Helga’s son’s name is Buck. I am assumming this is short for something, but whatever it is short for doesn’t matter because he is always referred to as Buck. Buck is 8 years old, and I think he is awesome because his name is Buck.

Helga likes to go on crazy rants about things that are weird, and she lets her kids watch Edward Scissorhands, and she also lets her kids have “underwear wars”  they take all of the underwear out of their drawers and throw them at eachother. They also play games called “old woman” Buck pretends that he is a blind old lady and walks around with his eyes closed and a stick in his hand (channeling the old woman cane of course) and hunts for Alberta. This game alone shows the creativty that children possess.

Helga likes things to be a certain way, and she likes voicing her opinion, and she also likes to behave eratically when the markets are eratic. Thankfully for me, the markets are crazy right now with this economy that we have so Helga behaves eratically most of the time. If the markets are up she buys lots of weird things like $100 shower curtains and purple bath rugs, and dog sweaters…when the markets are down, Helga yells a lot and says shes going to get rid of the cleaning lady, in result, Helga will sweep the floors and clean the bathrooms on days when the market is down. Helga likes yoga and she also is really into Feng Shui. Helga drinks Bailey’s in her coffee and has a tomato garden. Helga sometimes takes part in illegal business practices, but its all about strategy, and money, and progress.

The thing is, I really like Helga. Not many people like her all the time, but I really, honestly do. Even if she yells at me, or gets upset and goes crazy. I think that Helga just makes my life so much more exciting. I’m starting to realize that I should write a book about her; although, I’m afraid that she would think that I am trashing her, although I am not in anyway. I really think that she is exciting! I’ve always been the kind of person who meets crazy people and has weird things happen to her or around her which has made me become quite the story teller. I feel like Helga is the best encounter I have had yet, and because I encounter Helga so often, I feel like I NEED to write about her.

The Adventures of Helga, Alberta and Buck. I know you would read it. I would read it! And then you would be asking yourself what will Helga do next?

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