My heart is breaking…

This evening, I read this article on the Drudge Report and couldn’t believe my eyes…

To summarize, a baby boy aborted at 22 weeks because the mother found out that he would be disabled was found alive 2 days after the procedure was performed. A chaplin came to pray over the child and found that the baby was still breathing, heart beating, umbilical cord attached.

Tears are coming to my eyes as I write this…

this was a baby, a 22 week old baby, living, breathing, heart beating, unloved and unwanted.

My mind can not understand why, my heart can not comprehend this…

I break.


She Said Yes

I just finished reading the book “Columbine” by Dave Cullen. If you haven’t read this yet, I recommend that you do. I finished the entire 400 page book in less than a week. I sat behind my sunglasses at Starbucks silently crying to myself, because it moved me.

Everyone remembers the event—I was in 7th grade and before reading Dave Cullen’s investigative novel, I mostly remembered a few key things: “The Trench Coat Mafia” “The Popular Kids were Targets” and “The Girl that Said Yes” …as it turns out, none of these things were true.

Eric and Dylan were actually likeable people. Eric was popular, had friends and girlfriends, but he was a psychopath. Everyone believed his lies, and he played the “likeable” character role really well. Dylan was quieter, but he had friends too. Dylan was clinically depressed and his depression went undiagnosed. He wrote in his journals about never finding love, and suicide. Neither Eric or Dylan were members of the Trench Coat Mafia, though they did wear Trench Coats on April 20th, 1999. It was easier for them to carry their weapons, crickets and pipe bombs, so they were worn for utilitarian purposes. Eric and Dylan did not target the jocks, Christians, and bullies. They had planned on killing everyone that day, but their plan failed. Their shooting rampage was completely random, and they were convinced that their bombs would work and eventually everyone would die. The Targeting theory therefore squashed.

Cassie Bernall did not say yes—she was never even asked the question “Do you believe in God?” The student that told everyone it was her was mistaken. The girl that did say ‘Yes’ was shot that day, but she lived. Her name was Val, and to this day she is called a “liar” because of one kid’s mistake. The student that made the mistake has since apologized to Val, but the Bernall family continues to be angry at the media for defacing their daughter’s martyrdom. Cassie’s story still moves me—just a year before she died she suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts. She was a cutter, and struggled with her self image. She went to a youth retreat with her church youth group and came back proclaiming to her parents that God had changed her. The year before her death she spent proclaiming God’s goodness and the miracle that He had done in her. Val, the girl that did say yes, said that she has struggled to forgive the people that called her a liar; she said she forgave Eric and Dylan more easily. Sharing her story was never meant to disgrace Cassie—Cassie’s death was a terrible tragedy, but the truth of what happened that day was that Cassie was never able to even beg for her life.

I wanted to post about this because I think that we are so quick to trust the media—and in Columbine’s case, even the Jefferson County Police Department didn’t tell the truth. This story moved me in a way that is incredibly difficult to describe. There were so many misconceptions that came from the tragedy and understanding what really happened brought out a new kind of compassion for what happened that day. I encourage you to pick up the book, it’s eye opening and gripping and its the kind of book that makes you sit back and think “wow, how could this happen?!”


Lately, I’ve really been loving the blog Erin Loechner does these posts called “juxtapostion” ever so often…she takes photographs by different people, poses them nex to eachother and the perspective makes me want to scream!!! I just love them.

So here are some of my favorites, but please visit Design for Mankind for photo credits and other design/photo/fashion amazingness.