Pee on My Face

If you followed my tweets this morning, you’d know that I had a rough start. I woke up with a bloody nose in the night, only to be woken up an hour after it stopped to an allergy induced sneezing attack, only to be woken up an hour later to my dog…Franny…peeing on my face.  It’s difficult to really explain the shock that goes through your body when you feel warm dog urine dripping off your eyebrow but that in fact is what I experienced this morning at 6:30. Bryant was trying to get Franny and Zoey out of the bed and downstairs, and after Franny wouldn’t move, because she was busy peeing on me, I started to yell “She’s peeing on my face! She peed on my face!” Bryant didn’t believe me initially until he saw the giant piss stain on my pillow.

Thats right, that sweet little thing is in fact a mutant, don’t let appearances fool you. This morning, I was angry. My anger was directed mostly to Franny, but also towards my husband. Why can’t he wake up to his alarm the first time it goes off? Why are our mornings so often complimented by Franny accidents? Why am I awake?! And excuse me while I pitch Franny overboard! I laid in bed angry after I disinfected feeling infuriated…sleep deprived…and angry. Bryant came upstairs feeling sorry for me, because what can compare to pee on the face? He left for work apologizing and kissing me saying “I’m so sorry about the pee on your face.”

The “Pee on My Face” was a lesson. It didn’t just teach me that I have a demented dog (though rest assured, she has been grounded from any and all bed privileges for the next 100 years); it also taught me that I am quick to blame someone else when bad things happen. I heard Franny screaming “I’m going to explode” but because I was so consumed in my allergies and exhaustion I kept saying to myself “Bryant will get up, its not my problem.” So when the pee came sprinkling down and I started screaming in fury, I instantly went looking for someone to blame.

Do you ever do this? Do you ever void yourself of all responsibility? Do you play the victim card when it is most convenient?

My husband is a wonderful man. He does so many things for me and makes so many sacrifices so that I can sleep in an extra hour in the morning and I am grateful. Grateful for his patience, because I know he knows that he’ll be hearing about the pee on my face for awhile…but mostly grateful because I don’t have to worry about him being a good father. He deals with me on my worst days and still finds a way to show me grace even when I don’t deserve it. So the truth is that even when stupid things happen, and even when circumstances are beyond tolerable, I need to find a way to accept them for what they are instead of multiplying them. I felt sick to my stomach this morning because I was so angry–pee on your face is a good reason to be angry, but not a good enough reason to shut out your husband and call him a moron.

So I mark this up to another lesson learned: Franny is a rat and I have anger issues but I’m in progress, and I guess that is what is really important.



  1. This happened two years ago.

  2. Look at how little she is. I can’t even believe it.


  1. […] me. She is hard to love. When she was a puppy, she somehow managed to do the unthinkable, re: Pee on My Face, and since then has managed to eat ant traps, step in Bubble Gum, and in more recent months has […]

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