The Dog Park


I’ve been taking Franny & Zoey to the dog park everyday for an hour in the afternoon so they can socialize. It’s hit or miss, sometimes there are great dogs, other times, like today, there are poodles and chows and pugs, and my dogs end up foaming at the mouth all embarrassing.

Today, a black male poodle had the hots for Franny. He kept trying to mount on her and thrash her to the ground. And then while he was “resting” in the shade, I turn my head for a second and there’s a black lab humping Franny. It was unreal disgusting. The owners of these sicko dogs didn’t really care to control their animals. They gave me the “dogs will be dogs” shrug. 
So here it is. I’ve formulated a list of Dog Park Etiquette:

1) You are responsible for your dogs behavior. This means, get off your cellphone.
2) Humping is unacceptable. I don’t care if your dog has been spayed or neutered, its gross.
3) Pick up your animals poop and throw up. Today, there was this cream colored noodle thing in the dirt, and Franny& Zoey kept trying to sniff it…it may have been puke, it may have been something else, I don’t really know but I sure as heck wasn’t going to clean it up.
4) It’s nice if you are nice to all of the dogs. This lady today was letting her dog play with my dogs, and when her dog walked over to her she rolled her eyes at my dogs for following. Really? Would you do that to your children’s friends? No! No, you wouldn’t! “Becky, why are your friends following you everywhere? They are so annoying” yeah…its rude.
5) You are responsible for your own dog. This woman brought her kick me dog and instead of putting it with the dogs under 25 pounds, she let him loose with the larger dogs. That little thing walked the perimeter and peed about 50 times. She kept saying “whoops! Why is he doing that?” Then Franny walked over to it, because she wanted to identify if it was a dog or a rat, and that thing came within 2 inches of peeing ON Franny. Woman says “that was close! You should keep your dog away from him!” OR you shouldnt bring your animal in here if you don’t want it to be around other dogs.

Franny didn’t feel as defiled today as I did. I gave her a bath, and she preceded to rub her body around like some kind of stripper. I kid you not, she was strutting her stuff like I’ve never seen, all proud of her many boyfriends.



  1. Hilarious! I bet it was frustrating but you have a really funny way of putting things. 😉

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