Doosey of a Week 15

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Week 15 of pregnancy is coming to a close, and let me tell you, its been less than thrilling.

Baby: size of a navel Orange. I saw it a few times when I was in the hospital Tuesday. It appeared to be clapping all gospel music style. Then creepily turned and looked right at me! My Mom was there, she said “oh my gosh! It’s staring at us!” This baby is all about the dramatics.

Complications: Kool & the Gang are doing well. I however, woke up early Tuesday morning with the most intense stomach pains of my life. A few violent symptoms and hours later, I called my doctor. After a series of questions, my doctor insisted I head to the hospital. He was concerned that the catered deli sandwiches I ate the day before at a funeral may have given me food poisoning or listeria, and that I was suffering from dehydration. It is also important to note I did not throw up one time during my first trimester. I was sick and nauseous for sure, but I’m not a person who typically vomits. That said, the ‘violent’ symptoms I’m describing, well, it was just that. Bryant was in a meeting so my neighbour took me to the hospital. My Mom and Dad were still in New Jersey for my Uncles funeral, so they drove up to meet me at the hospital. My Mom stayed with me, and will be here until Tuesday. They took a bunch of blood, ran a bunch of tests, and gave me a few bags of iv fluid. They sent me home, and I was on a water and cracker diet for almost 48 hours. Exciting right? Turns out, after other family members called reporting the same symptoms, it is just the flu. But, little did I know, pregnant people really do not fair well when this sort of thing happens. Like I said, this baby is dramatic.

Cravings: More ice chips please.

Aversions: Everything.

Parenting: Since Baby Baby is due in March, relatively close to the Hunger Games movie release date, its been figured out that we can bring Baby Baby to the theatre and force a nap time. This may seem unimportant to most, but this essentially means that I will not bow down to Baby Baby’s schedule. Baby Baby will adapt to my schedule. You know those crazy people who are all “Oh sorry, I can’t come, that’s during Anastasia’s (ridiculous fake name chosen for illustration purposes) nap time” or “I only have 30 minutes for coffee, that is right in between Anastasia’s feeding and nap” …uh seriously? Your baby can’t sleep in their stroller at Starbucks? Yes, I know, I’m not a parent yet, but strict schedules will make my skin crawl. I’m more of a go with the flow kind of gal.

Bonus: Snazzy (Denise) kept my spirits up while I lay alone in the hospital bed awaiting my fate. I was consumed with fear thinking of all the ways that this baby is going to kill me. Snazzy lift my spirits by sending me a few other ways that baby could kill me:

Please add this to your “Ways Baby Could Kill You” List:
1) Spontaneous fetal combustion (that’s not a thing – I made it up. Sounds realistic, right?)
2) Karate chopping your organs (which would take a really long time to kill you – babies are pretty weak)
3) Busting through your chest a la Alien (which is anatomically incorrect, as the baby is in your uterus and not your chest. So maybe it will come out your belly button or something)
HAPPY TALK SO YOU STOP WORRYING YOUR BABY WILL SUDDENLY CATCH ON FIRE
She later sent an addendum, apologizing for the whole suddenly catch on fire comment. I was in a hospital after all. And I forgot to mention to her that when I arrived the fire alarm was going off in the hospital. Really awesome.
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Comments

  1. Probably the fire alarm was going off because you’re so smokin’ hot.

    So glad you and Kool are doing better!

  2. I’m sorry you had to go through that! The same thing happened to me (before I got pregnant) and they did all the same stuff, but yeah I had the worst stomach pains ever. It was crazy. I’m glad you are doing better now and that it wasn’t listeria. I have had such a hard time not eating deli meat, because I love sandwiches. Not hot ones, but cold ones! Also, your bump is really cute!

    • Honestly, I’ve never felt so sick in my life. Pregnancy is stupid. Beautifully stupid of course, but emphasis on the stupid. I’m in full count down mode. And yes, avoiding deli meat is a serious struggle. I love sandwiches and a hot sandwich just isn’t very refreshing. The catered deli sandwiches was a rookie mistake. I was hungry and they were sitting there screaming “EAT ME!”

  3. I freaking love you & Denise! S.F.C. might happen to dragon babies though, so take note if you’re having a dragon.

    Glad to hear you’re all well, and that, in fact, your baby is not trying to kill you.

    • I’ve also thought that it could be a monkey. Its head is kind of large for its body, similar to a chimp. In this case, it wouldn’t catch on fire, but it could definitely chew its way out. Chimps have some fierce teeth.

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