Club Can’t Even Handle Me Right Now

We watched 3 episodes of Allen Gregory tonight and that silly Club song is all stuck in my head from the same sex dance episode. It’s like the background music to my deep thoughts and after I finish a page of my book I hear “uh-ohhhh, uh-ohhh, OH!” I know it, you are all wondering how I fit in with everyday people, the truth is, I don’t.

Cue Vulnerability: I feel less like myself and more insecure as my body expands and my skin stretches. I am noticing more bumps on my skin and dry patches and yesterday it became completely apparent that I’m not just a little bit pregnant. My belly button is becoming less “in” and I’m sure I’ll wake up next week and it will officially be “out” and I’ll make the classic Keanu shock face. This whole experience is a struggle. There’s this new person that will be mine at the end of it so there is that but my skin is weird and I’m out of breath all the time. I’ve tried to only complain to my Mom and my Husband because I understand that there are so many women who are deeply depressed about being unable to experience this pregnancy miracle. I have close friends who will never get to have dry patchy skin or feel their baby give them a kick to the ribs, so I try to stay positive for them. Mask this experience a little so I can be sensitive. And really, who wants to hear someone complain all the time anyway?! Especially about something they brought upon themselves. But, tonight, I looked down at my weird belly skin and confessed to my husband that I don’t feel beautiful. He of course told me that I am and then said “it’s ok, it’s almost over. You are almost there.” His little pep talk made me realize this awkward time really is fleeting. It’s almost over. I’m almost there. And while I may feel pudgy and uncomfortable, this, just like anything else, is temporary.

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Comments

  1. While I won’t ever experience my body warping into the unrecognizable due to growing a person, being uncomfortable in your own skin is never, ever a thrilling experience.

Trackbacks

  1. […] I was pregnant, I posted about how I didn’t feel like myself anymore. It was incredibly difficult to sit back and watch my body change and stretch and not being able to […]

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