Tax Day

We wrote a very large check to the United States Treasury (your welcome assholes!) because we moved for a better job opportunity (way to discourage the American Dream assholes!) and turned our house in Oregon into an income property (which we aren’t making money on assholes!). Tax Day is confusing for most Americans. They think that the government is giving them money, ignoring the big word that goes along with that check–REBATE. This means that you paid too much in taxes throughout the year guys. Yes. So when you get your tax rebate check and go spend it on Dolce shoes or a new iPad, or a unicorn, like you just won the lottery…that was your money to begin with, which to me sucks the joy out of buying a unicorn just a little bit. When I used to get money back from the government (as opposed to writing them checks for ginormous amounts of money!! Assholes!), it made me angry. Because I sure could have used that extra $20 a paycheck throughout the year! For coffee! Breakfast for the office! Given it to homeless people or missionaries! Instead the government kept it…held on to it like an interest free savings account, like a bunch of assholes. And then, we have a group of people, a certain political party, who keeps wanting MORE TAXES…so the more successful I get, the more they want me to pay. Way to rob the American Dream…assholes!

So happy Tax Day America. Happy freaking Tax Day.



  1. You make me smile. We had to pay this year too, but we new it was coming. With my husband’s freelance work, one guy only takes part of the tax out and then I don’t know.

    You’d think that with as much money as we’re paying the government we wouldn’t have the amount of debt we do, but then again it’s the government managing money and not say oh Apple or Chick-fil-A that pays their debts off in very timely manners.

    Maybe we can find a discount unicorn at an outlet mall or something.

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