What I’m Learning

I’ve had an ah-ha moment, several actually. I spent the past year pregnant and lonely. It’s terrible to say it that way, but honestly, it’s the truth. We uplifted to pursue a great opportunity for Bryant, and instead of letting it be an opportunity for me, I made it all about him. I made it about what I was leaving behind, not about what exciting things *could* lie ahead. After living there for a little over a month, we were expecting a baby, and I made the next 9 months of my life all about that. My pregnancy was not easy, and so, because I didn’t stay open to whatever New York City could have offered me, I stayed in my apartment…pregnant and lonely.

Now, we have another exciting opportunity for Bryant, in a new state, and I am determined to let it be just as exciting for me. I am open. I am not lonely, though my company has only changed a little (cough, infant attached to my boob). I can tell that I am different this time. I learned that you have to stay present in your own life. Bryant’s opportunities can also be my opportunities and visa versa. I am a Momma, and while I am still figuring out what that looks like, and will continue to look like as I also dual as a graduate student, I’m staying present. Maybe God has an incredible community of people here that I will fit into just as well, if not more so, than Oregon. Maybe God has plans for us that are even more vast and massive than I can even pretend to comprehend. I think both of those are true, but they will only come to fruition if I stay open.

P.S. There is a very real possibility that I will get to sit on my couch today. Hooray!


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