Colorado Bound

We are going to Colorado Springs tomorrow. We have had this trip planned for a couple months, and in light of the wildfire this week almost cancelled…but, it is home, and we want to be with our family. I have no idea what to expect so I am trying to prepare myself. Regardless, we will be there to celebrate life. My sister-in-law is pregnant, so we are going to her baby shower, and our families haven’t seen Kinsey for a couple months so it will be fun to just be together, as a family, and love on each other a bit.

I’ll be taking a blog break while I am gone, but, I wanted to post this before I leave. A group of local Colorado Springs designers put together some t-shirt designs, and 100% of the proceeds go to benefit the Colorado Wildfire Victims. I bought a couple this morning, and wanted to encourage you to support their efforts.

Wild Fire Tees

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Like Wildfire

My hometown is burning…and it sounds ridiculous to even say these words. The fact is, these things happen. It is a part of nature, and unfortunately, sometimes, even our greatest efforts can not stop her.   I am heartbroken, because I am here, and I want to be there. My best called me yesterday completely speechless, as her parents were evacuating their home. Friends who I grew up with are fleeing their neighborhoods, and it isn’t about the “stuff” …not really, it is more about the home that has been created outside of their house, that is what they are losing. Bryant and I hiked Waldo Canyon months before we got engaged. My best and I spent almost everyday trail running around Blodgett Peak the summer before I got married. Colorado Springs is my heart, and just as this wildfire takes its’ homes, I ask that we pray for the city, and let those prayers spread like wildfire too.

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Change

A good friend today told me that I’ve changed, or am changing, something like that. At first, I was concerned, thinking that motherhood has done to me exactly what I didn’t want it to…but then I took a minute, and realized, how could it not? I said, pretty wholeheartedly before having Kinsey, that I didn’t want to lose myself. I had known people who had become mothers and it consumed them in a such a way that they became uninteresting. I did not want to lose everything that I am and be defined solely by my role as a mother…so, needless to say, I’ve been incredibly self conscious.

I catch myself talking about Kinsey, and feel like I have to hold back…

I tweet something about pumping or breast feeding and think “Good God Woman! Over-share!” and feel like I have to apologize…

I talk about missing my little girl, and again, I apologize, well…today, I kind of decided that I need to stop apologizing.

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