My Unnamed Life Theory

I’ve been saying this for awhile, but after explaining my conclusions to Denise today on gchat, and having her reply with praise and genius, I decided it was time to take this thing public. You saw it here first, people.

Goals are ALWAYS harder to accomplish in the summer time. Always. There is not an exception to this rule unless your goal is to do nothing, or eat like shit, or drink as much as possible, or something else that requires little to no effort. I have uncovered the reason as to why this is.

We are conditioned to only focus and really achieve from late August thru May. Fall-Spring seasons are for getting down to business. We go to school for 12+ years, not including undergraduate or graduate work, and for all of those years our minds are trained to get focused as soon as late August hits/early September and then to promptly check out and stop caring after May. Because of this, as adults, we really suffer to get stuff done from June-August.

Women claim they are preparing for bikini season, which is why starting in February/March they bust their asses to get into shape. How many times do you really wear a bikini during the summer? Maybe for a week straight if you go on a vacation? Maybe a couple sporadic times if you are invited to go to a water park and relive the days of your youth? We are lying to ourselves. We are actually simply preparing to do nothing. Subconsciously, we know that summer is for being lazy, so we try to get our time in.

Operation Heidi Klum is particularly difficult right now. I am going to the gym on average 2-3 times a week, but in May, I was going 4-5 times a week. As soon as the calendar rolled into June, and the weather started being awesome, I started to struggle with laziness. It is a pretty intense battle of the mind between what I should be doing and what I will actually do. “I really should go running” but “I am going to go drink a Venti latte and sit instead.”

Summer school was a death sentence, and Amy Juergens can tell you that no one wants to go to school in the summer (even though you said you wanted to, and now you complain about it every fricken episode to your soon to be husband, and you act like a total asshole when he wants to take your kid to the beach!). It is completely logical for summer to be a time of nothingness. I sympathize. And if you tell me that things feel hard right now, I’ll tell you, it is because of summer. No, you are not crazy, no, you are not a slacker, no you do not need therapy, it is because of summer.

So, if you feel yourself slipping on your health goals, if you feel like that house project will never get done, if you feel like laying on a beach towel in the middle of your living room instead of pulling out the vacuum, FEAR NOT, it will pass, in about 2 months.

I told Denise that we should trick ourselves into thinking it is August. When she asked how, I told her to go buy school supplies. The solution to this problem needs some work clearly, but you could seek out a hypnotist, or just embrace it. I choose the latter.




  1. actually, I may have to disagree with you on this one. I am much more motivated and get more done in the summer time. I am finally going to the gym where I couldn’t seem to go at all during the fall and winter. I get out more often for walks when the weather is nice. Granted, I am trying to get into “bathing suit” shape for my trip to Hawaii so that is always motivating. My job also slows down in the summer so I am able to fit in the workouts and other things that I can’t seem to do in the fall/winter. I’m probably the oddball out on this one though. 🙂

    • Haha! HOW DO YOU DO IT?! I sometimes eat healthier…because I’m over-heated and don’t feel like eating stuff that is filling and will make me sweat. BUT, I just always call summer ‘break time’ or ‘vacation.’ It’s extremely hard for me to accomplish anything. I must learn from you.

  2. i have the “oddball” status since summers are usually when everything slows for me as well, BUT, because everything slows, i hit that inevitable wall. a reverse hibernation, if you will. glad you got this out there – validated me a tiny bit this afternoon. 🙂

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