A Letter to My Daughter

Kinsey,

You will be 6 months old this week, in 5 days to be exact. I have been your Mama for 6 whole months (plus the 9 that you were in utero, but I didn’t do much mothering then, mostly eating). When I think about that, and really focus in on how much time has passed, I gasp for air–because, I can not grasp onto the 6 months of memories as firmly as I would like. People say that when you have children, time goes by at warp speed. I always thought it was a silly thing to say, but now I have you, and guess what, I blink, and suddenly, I am not a 2-day seasoned mother anymore. Nope. I now have 6 months of it under my belt, and you aren’t just a blob that sleeps and eats, you actually see me, and you grab onto my face with your little hands, and you smile real big every time I say your name. But, I love this season of life more than the last, and I have a feeling that this will always be the case. Right now, you see me, and I see you, and we play together, and laugh together, and my job has become so much more than just keeping you alive. I want to keep you small. I want to go back in time and re-live the last 6 months just one more time, because while I love the 6-month old you, I think that I blinked. You will never be that small again, and time only froze the moment that you were born. Since then, the clock hands have been rotating at a speed that I am not comfortable with and before I know it, you will be a year old, crawling and eating real people food, and I’ll be sitting in the corner at your birthday party sobbing (let’s hope this is only half true).

So. Here we go. Happy Half-Birthday. Please give me grace on the days that I have the deer in the headlights look. I swears I was sporting it every single day last week, but you need to realize that trying to take care of a sick baby that doesn’t know how to blow her nose is one of the most challenging forms of patience that I can think of…not to mention your aversion to the touch of the tissue. And, if you can help it at all, slow down just a little bit; you are growing too fast, and right now, my little heart feels fragile. The thought of this time never existing again is completely mind-blowing emotional. Let’s both agree to just take a couple minutes, every single day, and just be. Breathing in the moment, and allowing ourselves to just be still. Maybe I’ll just promise to do this, and you can go about life as usual, that works too.

I love you, my little, and I promise you, this will not be the last time that you hear the words “you are growing up too fast.”

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Comments

  1. this made me cry. ” I think I blinked You will never be that small again, and time only froze the moment that you were born. Since then, the clock hands have been rotating at a speed that I am not comfortable with” beautifully written & you should write a poem with this. Love you! She is growing up so fast. 😦

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  1. […] Krongard’s A Letter to My Daughter – And, if you can help it at all, slow down just a little bit; you are growing too fast, and right […]

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