When A Dog Manipulates You: A Franny Update

Franny. Oh, Franny. I do not even know what to do with this dog. I took these pictures of Franny and Zoey this morning, and it was hysterical (and sad), because if no one knew which dog was which, they would clearly see which dog was the bitchy one and which one was the sweet precious angel.

We tried to get the Franny some Xanax, but our vet said that we needed to first try to train the crazy out of her. Not in those words of course, but we were given a pamphlet that talks about positive re-enforcement, and how to discipline without killing your dogs spirit…it was a bit fluffy for me, and truthfully, I looked through it like one time and then threw it in the garbage.

Here is what I have realized. The dog is manipulating me. I know you think I am crazy, but she is seriously too smart to be owned by humans. She doesn’t understand her place in the house, and I always chalked her behavior up to her just being a bitch but as it turns out, she is trying to establish dominion over me. I used to think that everytime she crawled underneath the ottoman, that she had done something wrong. I thought she was hiding from my wrath. But then, I’d search the house and not find anything. So then, I thought maybe I broke her. Like, she was so used to being in trouble every time I came home, that she just instantly hid, assuming I was going to walk in the door and beat her. Now, I have realized, neither of these are the case. For a week or two, I thought it was self esteem issues. Because, I would walk in the door, and she would be sitting on the couch, then jump off and hide from me. She would not come out from under there until I called her name. Then she would be all happy and excited. I thought “poor Franny, she thinks we hate her, we have to call her so she knows that we love her.”  Now, I don’t think it is self-esteem at all. I think that is what she wants me to think. One day, I deliberately didn’t call her name for over an hour and she stayed underneath the ottoman. Eventually, she just gave up and came out. She wants me to spend time worrying about her stupid self. She could want to kill herself, or she really is smarter than me and wants me to give her whatever she wants.

The ottoman situation is just another creep factor that can be added to her long list of weirdness. She still stares at me, for hours on end, waiting for me to give her something…she won’t jump onto the couch to sit with Bryant and I unless BOTH of us tell her to come up. If I tell her its ok, she’ll stare at Bryant and wait for him to say it too. On the surface, it seems like self esteem, but in reality, she just thinks we are here to serve her. I do not know how to end this ridiculous charade, but I’m convinced that this dog has some sort of underlying plan, and we are now in phase 2 of her bullshit.

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