Combating the Zombies

I can’t remember the last time I had a good night sleep…that is a lie. I had a good night sleep last Tuesday. But, before last Tuesday, it had been a long time, and truthfully speaking, last Tuesday feels like it was ages ago. I am so tired. I was starting to come to terms with the “Zombie Mom” status. I started to wear it proud, like a badge of honor. But, I do not want to wear it, I really don’t. I do not believe that you have to compromise night after night of sleep in order to raise a happy baby. I know for a fact that you don’t because Kinsey has slept 12 hour stretches without a problem. Yesterday, I saw a tweet from this amazing lady on Twitter named Nancy, inviting Mom’s to attend her Sleep Webinar. I logged on immediately, only to realize that it was on Tuesday not Monday and I was the only person in the chat room. I was literally counting down until Tuesday, because I have to sleep. So, I went and got my coffee this morning, and put Special K down for her nap, and then logged on. I posted my question, and the Isis Sleep experts gave it so much attention.

Here is what I learned:

Kinsey is not a newborn anymore. (wait, what?!)

Kinsey can not be forced to sleep all night if I am trying to force her to sleep all day. (huh?! What?!)

Kinsey does not need to nurse all night long. She is not actually hungry, she is just using me to soothe herself. (I know, I know, I should have figured this one out on my own).

So, basically, I brought this whole Zombie Mom thing upon myself. Kinsey does not need to nurse all night long. Not even when she’s going through a growth spurt. Her body will take in the appropriate amount of calories during the day time, and when she is waking up at night and I am nursing her back to sleep, even if it is a full feeding, she has learned that I will always nurse her back to sleep if she wakes up. I did that. I was all “SHE IS SO HUNGRY ALL THE TIME WHAT IS GOING ON, HOLDME!” Yep. I am dumb sometimes. Also? At 5-9 months, babies typically drop their 3rd nap. So, I have been forcing her to take a 3rd nap, and then am all, “WHY IS SHE NOT TIRED! IT IS BEDTIME!” Stupid. So, I have some work to do, and I’ll be working this whole thing out over the next few days. I am hopeful that I can fix the problems that I created and Kinsey will have no recollection of it. I cherish these precious months where I can make mistakes and irreversible damage is not yet a concern.

It is really hard to be a Mom, you guys. I don’t know how many times I will tell you this, but my guess is probably a million more times.

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Comments

  1. Hi mama, I follow you on Twitter and have RT’d you many times. I have a 6 month old son Mason and we both seem to be going through a lot of the same issues. I nurse him to sleep and thats the only way he will fall asleep. At 6 months its now starting to become more of a concern. I feel the clock ticking and I know if I dont change this up NOW, it will only get harder. I’m very much into AP because it just feels right to me. I love watching him sleep and cuddling him but it bites me in the ass because he’s so active when awake (determined to crawl, gets so frustrated, lots of shrieking) that I’m realizing I can only be productive during naps. This post made me feel better (I’M NOT ALONE!!!). Lets figure this shiz out ASAP.

    • Oh man! It is so so hard! I’m going to start weaning off the night nursing sessions just like what I did at 2-3 months. I know she’s capable of sleeping through the night & teething & trying to crawl may be contributors, but this is KILLING me. We can do it!!! Power through!!!!!!

  2. I still can’t believe she slept so long at ~2 months– that is so crazy! And I think it’s putting it a LITTLE strongly that you did this all yourself. I think we as mothers put too much responsibility on ourselves for the “bad” stuff babies do and maybe take too much credit for the “good” stuff they do. I mean, I 100% think finding sleep strategies to help her sleep better is the right choice and we of course have the responsibility to make the best decisions/choices we can, but they are who they are.

    • It was definitely miracle. She would sleep at least 10 hours, and she just sort of did it. I didn’t do anything special. Fed on demand & if she woke, gave her the pacifier (until she found her thumb), soothed her & she’d go back to sleep. 3-4 months, 12 hours consistently. 4 month sleep regression felt more painful because I just wasn’t used to getting up. Month 5 was awesome again, and, here we are. But this time, it feels different. It’s way more frequent wakings, and I’m relying on nursing when it’s clearly for comfort. For some, they don’t mind nursing their baby back to sleep, but I just can’t be doing it 6 times a night. Mentally & physically, I just can’t. So, I’m going to try to do what I did months ago and wean off the night nursing. We’ll see how it goes. But yes, you are right, there is a lot of pressure and responsibility when sometimes its just what it is.

      • Just to be clear, I totally think working to cut back night-feedings is a great strategy, a fine goal, a wonderful step to take. I was just trying to say that I’m not sure the pressure/guilt/whatever about babies’ sleep patterns is helpful, or even accurate a lot of the time. Hang in there, and get ready for lots of quiet singing and back patting and whatnot! 🙂

  3. AMEN, sister!! Just last week i decided to stop the night feeds and going into her at all (we were only doing 1 at night, but still…) because 1-first i fed her and she fell asleep right away..that stopped working, 2-then i would put in the pacifier, that stopped working.. 3-then i rocked her.. and THAT stopped working. When all 3 of the above stopped working, i said FORGET IT! Yes, we did have 1-2 days of crying/fussing for an hour or more but somehow i think she got it because she quit waking up around the 4/5am mark. we’re still not wholly in the clear though, but we’re making progress.

    I’m curious.. did they say how much was an appropriate amount of daytime sleep? that’s been racking my brain a lot lately.. my girl does a good 10 hours but is it too much to ask that she does 12? (hah!). i know she can do it! Just wondering if a mom should “cut in” to a long nap in order to preserve time for sleeping at night. but then again.. i’m afraid of change and experimentation. 🙂

    GOOD LUCK!

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