A Letter to My Daughter (II)

Sometimes you will feel like you are the only one in the world. But, the truth of it is, you are the only one in the world to us. My heart is completely yours, and even when your Pop Pop and I try not talking about you, somehow, you always find your way back in. These last two weeks were exceptionally difficult–for me, but really, it was hard for you. Your first two teeth are finally cutting through your gums, but it took two weeks of pain and crying to get here. I am hoping future teeth are less bothersome, because if we have to go through this again, I may question modern medicine and their inability to figure out how to take an infant’s pain away.

I feel defeated sometimes, but I also feel like a badass Mama sometimes. I like that I know your sounds and cries, and have gotten to know your needs and wants. We know each other. We spend our days together, and everyday I get to tell your Pop Pop about all of the new things that you explored.

You stand. And, it feels like just yesterday that you started to crawl. But, that was not yesterday, and now you stand, and once again I am reminded that time is fleeting.

You burnt your finger on a too hot carrot yesterday. My fault, not yours. And, my heart broke. Even when I am trying to protect you, I will mess up, and that is the part about parenting that scares me the most.

Last night, you woke up crying in pain, and I picked you up, and you cuddled on my shoulder. You curled up in a little ball, stuck your thumb in your mouth, and squeezed me tightly.

Be still my heart. 

I love you, my little. So, so, much. I am sorry about the carrot. And, about the dog food that you shoved in your mouth yesterday that I promptly and violently dug out of your cheek.

The good news is that we are making it–you are 9 months and 2 weeks, and together, somehow, we are figuring this whole mother-daughter thing out. I am just as surprised as you are.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mama

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