Toddler Tantrums and My Fading Patience

I remember walking out of the hospital confused that these medical professionals were entrusting ME to take care of this tiny person. Flash forward one year and I suddenly understand why so many people stop procreating. Kinsey is perfect–I don’t think I have to make that part clear, but I will. I love her. I do. But, we are in a time where every single day is challenging.

To a toddler, taking your iPhone away from them is like cutting off their right arm. Stopping them from climbing over the backside of the couch to their what would be, imminent death is like Chinese water torture. Everything is the end of the freaking world and my day is full of SO MANY CRYING, STUPID, TEARS.

I’ve tried to create an environment where I do not have to say no a lot–because that shit doesn’t work anyway so it’s best to just toddler proof everything so you can go to the bathroom without worrying that your kid will try to climb inside the soot covered fire place. But, we just moved, and there aren’t child safety locks on our kitchen cabinets, so I have the trash can sitting in front of the china cabinets.

I’m so tired of coping calmly with the tantrums. I say “Kinsey, I see that you are upset, but it is unsafe for you to use your body weight to bang on the living room windows while balancing on top of the couch. I’m going to read this book to you, even though you are crying too hysterically to hear the words. Olivia is forming a band, Kinsey! I see that you have now let your limbs go dead, and you are rolling around on the floor like I just shot you in the heart, but I’m going to keep reading about this band in hopes that the band will distract you from the backside of the couch I just pulled you off of for the thousandth time.”

Lord, help me.

I simultaneously love and hate this time. Love that Kinsey is exploring and curious, hate that her curiosity is taking her to the toilet bowl.

How do I get through it?! How? HOW??? HOOOOWWWWWW!!

Bryant asked me if he could get me anything and I said a bottle of vodka and a plate of brownies. I was 100% serious and he just laughed at me.

I don’t even know, right now. I know nothing. Parenting is hard, you guys.



  1. This is why us moms blog… so we can read about other people’s kids shitty days, and know we’re not alone 🙂

  2. Hang in there girl. You are doing AWESOME. YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOM! And yes, it SUCKS at times. let’s all agree on that together! 🙂 but you are still awesome. and remember the mantra we have recited from birth… from growth spurts to teething to sleep training to yes.. toddler tantrums… “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”. now go down that bottle of vodka. 🙂

  3. Been there and done that. It’s hard. I know. I remember all too well. You will get through this. Yes, it will suck. But always remember you only have this day with this child. The moments are fleeting and one day you’ll look back on this and think “how did I get through it?”

    I’d love to be able to tell you it gets easier. With my now 12 and 11 year olds, I can tell you they DO learn to communicate more effectively, but they also learn to use those skills for evil instead of good at times. Eye rolling and sarcasm take the place of tears. The screaming gets louder and the tantrums still involve excessive body gestures and sometimes tears.

    Wait a minute – I think I need one of those brownies!

    Keep you sense of humor intact – one day we’ll all be old and they’ll have kids of their own that will do the same to them 🙂

    • I love this. My mom used to say “one day you’ll have kids…” And finish with whatever the situation warranted.


      It helps that every mother/father can identify. We form a club and the “oh yes! Remember that” surely helps 🙂

      • Yes. That, and the hope that one day they’ll provide us with grandchildren so we can bring them over for a visit, ply them with candy and soda, play with them all day and not let them take a nap and then unleash them on their unsuspecting parents. BWAHAHAHAHAH!

        Dang, I just spilled my evil revenge plan.

  4. Yes, yes yes. We are so there too. Stopping her from going where she wants to be, shutting a door, putting something unsuitable out of reach, not letting her drink from a real glass!! It’s so hard to stay patient sometimes. I feel I’m developing a chocolate coping strategy, which I feel may not be wise.

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